Over My Head
by AnatomyAddict96
Summary: Jacob has hit rock bottom, and once you're that down, there's no where to go but up. Question is, who will help him get there? Will it be his mysteriously disappeared crush, Paul, or someone totally new? Love triangle. Slash. Rated M just to be safe.
1. I Won't Even Say Gooodbye

**Chapter One: I Won't Even Say Goodbye**

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**AN1: **I've actually uploaded this story before but it got pulled off the site a while ago, so for any of you who think its familiar, that might be the reason. HOWEVER, I will make some changes to the plot down the road.

**AN2: **This story will contain explicit sexual material down the road. If you have anything against that, don't read it.

**AN3: **I do not own the Twilight series nor do I own the characters. All copyright belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Plot is mine.

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**Jacob's POV:**

I woke up feeling really happy. Why? No fucking idea.

My life has taken a big kick to the knee lately. My dad Billy died a year ago. It was a horribly tragic car accident. Grief wouldn't part me for months after his death. A part of me was screaming to move on, while the other part just couldn't let go of him.

I admired all the love and affection I received from my friends and the pack. They had really been my backbone in the storm. After two months passed, I realized that I was able to smile again. I used to comfort myself by telling my head that dad was with mom now, and they were watching over me. I didn't believe in that crap on a normal day, but if this would help, so let it be.

Paul would spend nights over at my now empty house. I had turned 18 so I was basically able to live by myself now, but the thought had killed me at first. Paul volunteered to stay over night after night. He woke up with me when I screamed out of the horrible nightmares that struck me. He ate when I ate. He smiled when I smiled. He cried when I cried. Paul was truly the magical antidote to the pain.

And here's the second low blow that life gave me. I sort off developed a **crush** for Paul through all this time. Could you blame me? Paul stopped his life just to make sure I continued mine. Of course I would develop a crush on him. Plus, I knew when I was 15 that the straight part of me was no more. I hadn't told anybody. It's not that I didn't trust them. I was just afraid I would scare anyone off, especially Paul.

I'd always fantasize about how it would be like when I told him. It always went both ways. When I felt pessimistic, I imagined him never coming back to my house and cutting off all contact with me. Yet, thanks to my crazy sizzling hormones, most of the times I was optimistic. I'd imagine him taking me into his arms, kissing me passionately, and taking my virginity right then and there.

The third and last blow life gave me was losing Paul. That was absolutely the hardest part of it all. He left with no warning. I remember that day clearly.

***Flashback* **

My eyes fluttered open in the middle of the night. I looked at the right side of the double bed we slept on out of habit. I always looked there to see Paul, sleeping in all his glory. We were pack mates, which meant that we had seen each other naked countless times, so it was nothing awkward.

Yet that night, what I was when I looked there was something totally different. I saw complete emptiness.

_Where are you Paul? Damn it! Where are you? _

**Paul was not there.**

Like a lunatic, I stormed through the entire house looking frantically for Paul. There was no sight of him anywhere. I was going crazy with all the bad thoughts. Without even stopping to see what time it was, I put on a short and ran out of the house to where Paul lived. Well, where he **used to live** that is, before he "moved in" with me: Sam's house.

I knocked on the front door.

"Sam," I called out. "Sam open the fucking door!"

"What is it Jacob?" Sam opened the door, washing out his eyes with his hands. "What time is it?" Emily was standing right behind him, with a look of concern covering her face.

"I'm sorry Sam, but Paul is gone. He's just not there!" I yelled out.

Sam seemed to wake up from his sleep and understand what this was about. Concern changed to sympathy on Emily's face. Sam sighed deeply. "Come inside Jacob, we need to talk."

"Sam, say what you need to say right now," I muttered out impatiently.

"Paul is gone Jacob, for good. He left," Sam spoke, as I felt my body shudder with deep sorrow and confusion. The pain was too heavy to cry; the words too strong to burst. I stood motionless at the front porch of Sam's house.

"Paul left for military service," he managed to add.

So many thoughts were going through my head right now:

_Why hadn't Paul told me? Why did Sam know all of this? Paul and I discussed him going to the military for a while, but he eventually decided to skip that. What changed his mind?_

Something was being hidden from me and I knew it, but right now, I was in no decent condition to ask. I turned my back towards Sam's house before running quickly to phase.

***End of Flashback***

Six months have passed since that day. I still don't have any answers to the questions I had at that time. Nobody would tell me anything. I know that everybody had knowledge of exactly what went on that night, but their mouths were shut.

I couldn't be persistent and show the exact amount of pain I was going through because of the separation from Paul. They would then know and understand the nature of my emotions towards Paul which was something I did not want at all. So I tried to be objective as I can, except around Sam, who I thought would probably have a good idea of how I felt towards Paul because of that night and my tragic response to the event.

Truth was, I felt a lot of **regret** over keeping that to myself. Maybe if I had told Paul the truth, things would be different. **Just maybe…**

But today, as I told you, I felt happy and hopeful. I guess no matter what life throws at you, in the end, it can't keep you down for too long. God I missed Paul, but **life goes on.**

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Where does the story go from here? Expect a love triangle. Here's something I want to know though; at the end of your reviews leave the name of the second love interest you'd like to see for Jacob in this plot or PM me.

Reviews are what will keep me writing. They are **highly** appreciated.

**P.S: Chapter title is a song performed by singer Adaline. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. **

_F. Y._


	2. What's the Point of Fighting It?

**Chapter Two: What's the Point of Fighting It?**

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**AN1: **I realized that I want to keep this story "wolf pack" themed, so I will not include vampires like the last time I did.

**AN2: **I do not own the Twilight series nor do I own the characters. All copyright belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Plot is mine.

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**Jacob's POV: **

Just as I was getting ready for some shuteye from a long day at school, I was interrupted with the light knocks on the door. In La Push, most of the pack members just knocked as if they were trying to kick the door down. Seriously, it was kind of scary at times.

I went to open the door. There in the night sky looming above him, rain sizzling over him, was Sam.

There he stood, shirtless with a pair of shorts. Immediately, I had a memory rush through my head.

***Flashback***

A few hours after I stormed off from the Uley's house confused and depressed over the disappearance of Paul, the door rang.

"Paul? Paul!" I ran towards the door. No, I sprinted. Instead, I opened the door to find Sam standing outside in the rain. I almost broke down to fall to the floor.

"No Jake. No," he said, pulling me up into his arms as he tightened his embrace on me. I fell into it, resting my head against his shoulder and crying quietly into his chest. He moved us over to the couch in the living room and we stayed like that for about twenty minutes. I dozed off.

When I woke up, it was 2:00 AM, which meant only half an hour had passed since I slept. I sniffed and inhaled the scent of macaroni and cheese, my favorite. I took a peak into the kitchen and saw Sam cooking. I couldn't help but smile.

"Sam, you didn't hav-"

"Shut up. All of Forks heard your stomach growling while you step," he joked.

I chuckled. I couldn't believe he was able to make me smile after all of this.

We sat down and we started eating. I ate rather hungrily. I couldn't help but see the way Sam was raising his eyebrows at me.

"Tastes good," he asked?

"Yeah. Looks like you've been learning a thing or two from Emily, haven't you?" I chuckled.

He smiled weakly, quickly finding something new to talk about. "Damn, I forgot to get you something to drink."

"Coke please."

"Sure," he said.

He went to the fridge and came back with a cup of orange juice.

"But I said I wanted C-"

"I know," he interrupted.

Even now, Sam was still being Sam. The one that makes sure we're fine. The one that picks us up when we fall. And obviously, the one that makes sure we drink healthy.

As soon as I finished everything, I got up to pick up my plates and wash them.

"Give me that," he rushed, taking a hold of the tableware. "You should get some sleep. I'll wash these and go."

I got out of the kitchen and stood in the living room. I wasn't sure how I could go back to the bed where I and Paul were laying just hours ago.

"What's wrong?" asked Sam, having finished the dishes. "Where you standing here all the time I was cleaning up?"

"It's just that I can't sleep up there. He wa-"

"I know," he whispered. "Come with me."

He went upstairs to my bedroom as I followed him.

"I'm going to spend the night so you could sleep tight. You don't have to sleep alone."

"Umm, thanks," I managed. At first, I wasn't sure how him spending the night here was going to help, but it really did. I felt like nothing could get to me with him around. As soon as I got into bed with him, each on the opposite side of the bed, I dozed off.

The morning after:

**Fuck. **As soon as I opened my eyes, I found myself wrapped in the arms of Sam Uley. **Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.** He was still sleeping, but I was afraid that any movement I make to get out of this position and he'll wake up. This looked wrong, but it weirdly felt right.

I tried lifting his arm so I could scoot over to the other side of the bed, but suddenly I felt a grip on my hand. He woke up.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked in a raspy voice. Then, he saw the position we were in. We looked at each other, and before I knew it, our heads were slowly approaching each other as our lips met for a tender kiss. It only lasted for a few seconds before both of us got our common sense back. My crush disappeared only last night and here I was, the next morning, in bed with a different man.

I felt so low. Apparently, so did Sam. His face was one of utter confusion. We both couldn't make sense of what had just happened. As if he read my mind, he got up and left. We both really needed to process this. We need to process what it meant.

At the pack meeting that night, I went with the intention of asking Sam what the hell had happened. Instead, as soon as I realized that he was giving me orders just like any other day and treating me normally, I hoped that his could be a chance to move past it. We did, _somehow_.

We interacted when necessary, but our eyes talked so much more. We never really addressed the issue then. We just stuffed it into a box and put it away.

Oh what a tragedy it would be if people like Emily knew what was inside that box.

***End of Flashback***

"Sam?" I asked, genuinely confused. This was the first time he stepped into my house since that night six months ago.

He silently approached me and held my face with both of his hands. He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. It was something beyond real. I involuntarily opened my mouth to allow him entrance. The kiss lasted long, and it got more passionate by the second.

After what seemed like forever, his lips parted mine.

"Why did you do this?" I questioned.

"I needed to make sure."

"Of?"

"This. **Us**."

"So..?"

"I want you Jacob. I've been fighting it for the six months because I thought it was the right thing to do, but really, lying to everybody, even ourselves, wasn't. This.. this is what feels right to me, and from the way you kissed me back, I could tell you feel the same."

"I shouldn't," I stated plainly. "I don't," I lied.

"You do know that you're terrible at deception. Your eyes give you away pretty quickly Jake."

**Jake**. Coming from him, it felt so special.

I stood there, like a complete idiot, speechless.

He smirked. "I'm right." Then, he gave me a quick peck before disappearing into the rain again.

He was right. He was **absolutely** right.

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**AN3: **There you have it. Thank you so much for the reviews I got from **Black Sheeba, iJeedai, wolfgirl91s**. I am writing this story for people like you who give me their honest thoughts and opinions about my progress. I look forward to hearing from you and whoever else would like to give me a piece of their mind.

F.Y


	3. That Bitch Called Reality

**Chapter Three: The Bitch Called Reality**

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**Jacob's POV:**

After the night Sam kissed me, I couldn't stop thinking about him. However, as much as I wanted him, I had to fight it. For starters, Sam was married. Well, that by itself basically is a "relationship killer", but to add insult to injury, I still had feelings for Paul. However, I find these feelings quickly faltering away because Paul is not there anymore. Instead these feelings were replaced with the betrayal and the anger I felt for him; he left me in my hardest times without not even one explanation, so could you blame me?

My thoughts were cut short when the door knocked. I was in the living room lying on the old mushy couch that we had. I got up and opened the door to find Seth being his normal cheery self.

"Morning Jake, can I come in?" he asked, making his way inside.

"Sure," I muttered when he had already occupied himself with some TV commercial on my sofa. "Can I get you anything?"

"N-no," he said as he removed his fixated eyes from the screen. "I actually came by to invite you to the school event being hosted tonight at the Forks Hotel. 24th floor."

"Well, I'm just not sure I'm down for a party to-"

"Yeah Jacob, miss the biggest school event of the year. Such a good idea!" he said, obviously annoyed with my response. "Eight PM. Everyone's going to be there."

Maybe Sam would be there. I felt the need to see him, even though I planned on ignoring him again. Plus, I really didn't have to be a party pooper. "Okay."

"Wait, what?!" he said as a dorky smile drew itself upon his face. "Okay I'm not even gonna ask. It's probably my awesome persuasion skills."

"Sure... it's definitely that."

"I knew it. Listen, Jake, I gotta run and tell more people about this thing. See you tonight pal."

"You sure will," I said as he got up and left. I settled back onto the couch to watch TV.

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"_Jacob," Sam called huskily, "what are you doing here?"_

"_Sam?!" I asked, startled by him being at my getaway spot. The lake. "I'm just taking a swim."_

_Sam then spoke something that I couldn't quite hear, but I could have sworn he said something like "lucky water". _

"_I wanted to have a swim too. It's too fucking hot. Would you mind if I joined you?" he asked._

"_Go ahead." _

_Just then, he began to strip until he was completely naked. I couldn't help but be caught in the trance that was Sam's shaft. Even when limp, it stood out as huge. It was beautifully shaped, as if it was masterfully crafted to look so. I was taken aback when it began to grow. Oh shit. Embarrassed, I looked up at Sam who was smiling mischievously. _

"_It's yours if you want it," he said seductively, looking down to his groin. "Looks like it wants you too." _

"_N-no. I don't." _

_Right then, he began to approach me, his body inch by inch sinking into the cold waters. I began to feel my pulse racing and my breaths becoming heavier as I anticipated what he was going to do to me. Eventually, he was right there in front of me, our bodies mere centimeters apart. I couldn't help but feel thankful for the fact that we were underwater because that concealed what I was "hiding" under there. _

"_Jake," he whispered into my ear, "there's no point in fighting it. I know you want me." _

"_You can't tell." I spoke quickly. _

"_Oh?" he asked, amused. Then, out of nowhere, he reached under the waters and grabbed my fully-erect shaft. I couldn't help but shut my eyes at the feel of his warm hands down there. "Are you sure about that?" _

_I was caught red-handed. He was right; there was no point in fighting what I wanted so badly. I decided that I'll do the honors. He was genuinely confused when I seemed to be the one to initiate the kiss. However, I let him dominate it as his tongue begged for entrance into my mouth. Our eyes were closed, but I could feel him smiling into the kiss. His hands began to trail down to my nipple as he pinched it, eliciting a loud moan from me. _

"_Baby, you're so fucking hot when you moan like that." I could see the lust in his eyes. "Jake, I want you so bad." _

"_Then take me," I said, giving permission we for what was about to come next. _

_As soon as these words were out of my mouth, you could see the excitement on Sam's face. He swiftly carried me out of the lake and extended a towel on the soft grass as he laid me there on my back. I couldn't help but grin at the spot he had chosen to place us down. Underneath the shade of the tree, I felt safe for some reason. The flowers on our right made this seem even more beautiful. The scenery was making this entire thing feel right for some reason._

"_I've got to loosen you up Jake," he said, getting his head in between my butt cheeks. _

"_OH GOD SAM," I cried out, my body tensing. "This is amazing!" _

"_Wait till you feel the real thing in their baby," he spoke as he continued rimming me. "You sure you want this?" _

"_Come on already Sam!" _

_He chuckled, quickly proceeding to do what we were both eager for. He started placing a finger, then a second one, and when I finally settled for that, he threw in a third one. The pain was a little too sharp at first, but once I started to loosen up, it became nothing but exhilarating pleasure. _

"_You ready pup?" he asked with anticipation. _

"_Yeah Sam, take me." _

_He positioned his cock on my entrance and started to go in slow. "SAAM GOD YOU'RE HUGE!"_

"_Relax baby. This will be much easier if you're relaxed." he whispered as he leaned forward to kiss me. _

_After a few minutes of passionate kissing, I began to feel the pain fade away._

"_Move Sam, I'm ready." _

_That was all Sam needed to hear before he started setting up a rhythm as he started entering and exiting me. I was so happy that he was the one that was popping my cherry._

"_Oh God Sam," I moaned between breaths, "this feelings so fucking amazing!" _

"_Jake you're so tight," Sam said softly. _

_For a while, all that could be heard by the lake was the sound of Sam's moans as he kept pounding into me. Or maybe that was all I was listening for. _

"_Sam, I'm cu- cuming!" I yelped as I sprayed my load on my chest, having one of the most intense orgasms of my life. _

"_M- me too!" Sam said as he quickened his pace, unleashing his load inside of me. He then collapsed over me as he started to kiss me sloppily. "That was amazing." _

_"It was… it totally was." _

"_You're mine," he said possessively. _

"_I know."_

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"OH. MY. GOD!" How the hell did I let this happen?! Well, technically I'm not the one who did, but how dare my brain go there?! Okay seriously, I'm not going to sit down here and blame my brain for one bizarre wet dream. I looked at my watch. 07:56 PM. Shit. I was going to be late.

I got up quickly, rushing into the shower to clean the "mess" I had just made while I was asleep. I put on some tight jeans and a t-shirt and got on my way to the party. Already from the beginning of it, this night was not looking good.

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I reached the reception, running straight to the elevator. I was about twenty minutes late. As the double doors of the elevator were moving in on each other to close, a hand cut in between, interrupting the motion. The elevator doors opened to reveal Sam.

"Hey," he said with a charming smile.

"Hey," I nervously answered. I could feel the elevator vibrating with the thuds caused from the beats of my heart.

And after that exchange, we pushed the elevator button, and the crazy ride began. You could cut the tension with a knife. However, after we hit the fifth floor, the conversation seemed to flow from there with a line being delivered at each floor.

**5: **"So you're just going to keep ignoring me Jacob?!" Sam broke the ice, "Like you did the time we kissed before that?"

**6: **"No."

**7: **"Do you know how hard you're making this Jake? Do you want me gone?!"

**8: **"N-no."

**9: **"Then what? What is it you want Jacob? Tell me, and you'll have it."

**10-11:** Silence.

**12: **"So?"

**13: **"I don't know Sam. I honestly don't know."

**14: **"Why?!"

**15-16-17: **"Because you're fucking married Sam! If I had you, we'd have to sneak around Emily and I don't want us to be those people. Do you want us to be these people Sam? The one's who keep hiding?!" I exploded, every surge of emotion coming to the surface.

**18: **"Jacob."

**19: **"I'm not done yet Sam!"

**20: **"Jacob!"

**21: **"What?!"

**22: **"I told Emily everything."

**23: **The lights go out and the elevator stops.

"You did what?!" I all but screamed.

"What the hell just happened?" Sam wondered.

"Sam! Focus!" I yelled.

"Jacob," Sam spoke, calling out my name to the total darkness that surrounded us now as I felt him come towards me. Suddenly I felt his hands on mine as he held them tight. "It went fine. I told her what she needed to know. She was hurt, but she got it. She got that when a wolf's imprint changes, he can't do anything about it."

I didn't know what to say, but I knew exactly what to do. I started searching for Sam's face with my hand. I could feel him lean forward in anticipation for a kiss as my hand reached his face.

"Arghhh," he shrieked after I punched his face. "What the hell was that for?"

"Do you have any idea how confused I was?! How lost I've been feeling? Didn't you feel that maybe you actually imprinting on me would factor into my decision?! I was so lost and co-" I was cut off with his lips on mine as he passionately kissed me.

"That was… something," I said, breathing heavily.

He chuckled. "It totally was."

"So do you think we should do something about the elevator? Call someone maybe?"

"I think I'm fine here," he said, finding my lips again for a quick kiss. "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy with what just happened?"

If only he could see the big grin plastered on my face, he'd know the answer to that. "Yeah, I am. Almost as happy as those dudes one floor above us. Seriously what the hell are they that happy for?"

Sam went quiet so he could listen to their excited squeals.

"Welcome back bud!" He could heard the voice of Quil on the microphone. "We missed you."

"Who do you think they're talking about?" asked Sam, intrigued.

"Who cares?" I said, finding my way once more into Sam's lips as I let him devour my mouth. I truly felt happy. Suddenly, the elevator lights were back on and we were on our way to the 24th floor. Sam held my hand as we faced the elevator door. I give him a quick squeeze as a symbol of reassurance.

"It's good to be back," spoke the familiar voice from on the microphone. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, I looked up at the stage where Quil and _**Paul**_ were standing with the audience right below them. Then, Paul's eyes met mine and soon they were on the intertwined hands of Sam and me. His smile quickly faltered as it became replaced with an expression of rage.

I quickly untangled my hand from Sam's.

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**AN: **Wow, that took me longer than usual to write, but probably because it's a bit longer. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and thank you for the people who reviewed my latest chapter.

**- Black Sheeba **thank you for your reviews. And yes, you could suppose Sam was with Leah before, but until now that will be irrelevant to the story.

- **LuvnmyEdward **I am so happy to see you here. You have been my most faithful reviewer since day one. Thank you.

I will try to get out the next chapter ASAP. Good day. :)


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